Abuse through the eyes of an innocent
by ScarlettSoul
Summary: Title says it all. This is mostly a true story. There will be no cards or magic in this one. I'll post it as much as I can. Give it a chance I promise it's not that bad. Sakura reflects on her life, from birth till now. Realizing how cold hearted she is, she's forced to seek help after a suicide attempt. Rated M for language, Violence, sexual situations and suicide
1. Chapter 1

Well, I have pushed my way back into the world of writing. Although I haven't finished the current story I am writing, I have decided that it would be a good idea to write this specific story.

This is part non-fiction, part fiction. There is a lot of reason behind this one. Mostly because I have been giving the assignment to do so by my doctors.

The first couple chapters will be based off of my life, my friends, and how I was finally free physically but not mentally. The next chapters are just fiction. The purporse of this story is mainly to just get everything off my chest and it will be several chapters (probably about 20 or 30 i'm only 22 so one year for each chapter until i get to possibly chapter 10)

This story is very very graphic. The first couple chapters will be extreamly graphic, it will make some of you cry, it will make some of you stop reading which i hold no offense to you if you do. This story is not for everyone. It's meant as me to get my story out and get it all off of my chest and give me a peace of mind.

The charters are not owned by me obviously, but some of them will be changed around. Given different ages and different social status.

Thank you if you do read it and i will be very appreciated if you read and left me a review, even if its to tell me that this all sucks.

Thank you all,

Love, Aida


	2. Prologe

Prologe

tick-tock-tick-tock

Time, it couldn't have moved slower.

"Sakura," he called my name. I looked up at him.

"What?" I answered.

"How long will you come and just sit here? How many sessions will you do, saying nothing. Doing nothing but sitting there and keeping it all bottled up." he said. I looked up at him. I just glared. How dare he? How dare he want in on my life.

"As long as it takes. I'll stay silent until the day I die" I said looking up at the clock.

4 O'Clock. it was time to call this little meeting to an ending. I stood up and pulled my hood back up before walking out. I didn't bother to grab a card telling me whne i needed to come back. It was always the same time, same day. Nothing ever changed.

I walked down the streets, street venders calling out to customers. Store owners sweaping around the front. Children and teenagers with their parents were walking behind them. Smiling, laughing, acting as if nothing was wrong, nothing had ever gone through there mind that not everyone is as lucky.


	3. Chapter one

Hello my lovely readers, So this is a new story. I'm not going to beat around the bush, it's a rough story. Very graphic, very violent, horribly, it's also mostly true. I'm writing this not for a horrible story, I'm writing this as a form of therapy. I won't skip around i'll get straight to your story, but first, I don't own any CCS characters, but i do own this story (cuz it's pretty much mine duh).

Chapter One

"congradualtions its a ...a Girl?' the doctor said to Nadeshiko Kinomoto.

"Oh god" she said. She cried tears of joy. Reaching out for her child, but they took her away. Doctors swarmed in, Fujitake blocked his wife's view. She screamed, she cried, she begged for the doctors to let her see her daughter, and they still didn't.

She passed out shortly after. The baby girl was lying on the table, still. The amblicial cord had wrapped it's self around her small neck. The doctors were attempting to get her to breath. To get her to live, show one sign of life. Cutting the cord they tried to get oxygen into her lungs. While most doctors would have declared her dead, this doctor didn't give up. After thrity more seconds, the baby let out a yell. Doctors around the room let out a sigh of relief.

Her eyes opened, bright green staired back at them. Her skin that was blue regained it's orginial color. She cried as the doctors cheered and cleaned her up. Taking her straight to ICU and thats where she stayed, alone, for her first week of life. Her name. Sakura Kinomoto. Brown hair, green eyes, 6 lbs, 2 onces, 13 inches long. She was a small child. But already, she was a fighter.

In the hospital room, Fujitake sat watching his wife sleep. His eyes evil, rather than happy and full of joy like a fathers should be. _'that bitch,' _he thought bitterly. _'she promised me a son. They said it was a boy. She cheated, that is the only explanation" _He got up and left the room.

It would be another week before they allowed the seemingly happy couple to go home with their child. She was a healthy baby despite almost dying. She was beautiful as Nadeshiko held her close. She held her like any normal mother would. Her first child. She took joy in changing her diaper, feeding and clothing her. She took more joy in caring and loving her new born daughter. She was her pride and joy. She would give her life if it meant her daughter could keep going.

Nadeshiko sang to her daughter as she fell asleep in her arms. She looked so peaceful. Her and her daughter were a picture of utter beauty. Nadeshiko could be a model, her daughter with her big green eyes full of life could be one as well. She kept singing when her husband came into the room. His eyes held a calm sense to them, his body tense however.

"Nadeshiko, I want to ask you a question" he said.

"Of course, what is it?" she replyed.

"If you were with someone else when you met me, would you have been with me today?" he asked.

"No" she replyed calmly.

"Excuse me?"

"No," she said again, "I would not have been. I am a faithful woman and if you had tried to charm me while I was another man, I would have turned you down. I will never cheat on a man. However, we met while we were both single."

He stood still for a few moments before he turned around and left the room. Five minutes had passed and she was laying her daughter down in her crib when Fujitake walked back in. Nadeshiko had a whole new look to him. His body was tense, his eyes full of rage. He walked up to her. and forcefully pulled her aside.

"Fujitake?" she questioned.

He didn't respond. He turned away for a second before turning back around and slamming his fist into her face. She stumbled backwards holding in her scream. Blood poured from her face as she tried to quite her sobs. Fear of what he would do to Sakura in this state.

"You stupid little bitch. How dare you. What am I not good enough?" he asked. His voice was dangerously low.

She was at a loss for words as she quitely sobbed.

"You're lucky, god damn lucky I don't want to hear your bastard daughters screams" he said before he walked away out of the room. She heard the slam, he had left. She stood there for a few minutes, waiting to see if this was all a horrible nightmare. She finally made her way over to Sakura's crib to check on her. She was sleeping soundly. Nadeshiko was silently thankful for it. She made her way to the bathroom, blood pouring from her face leaving a trail behind her.

She looked in the mirror. Her nose wasn't broken, but her face was split open between her eyes. Her nose poured blood like a leaky faucet. Tears poured down her eyes. How could someone do so much damage with one swing? She wet a hand towel and begain to wipe her face. She rinsed the towel several times before all the blood had stopped and she had a clean face again. A painful bruise begain to make it's appearence on her face.

Sakura began to cry. She made her way to get her a bottle and begain to warm it up. She sat on the edge of the bed and gave her the bottle, softly singing her back to sleep. She changed her diaper and begain to clean the blood off the carpet. Her mind was a blank the entire time. She continued cleaning, she couldn't do anything else.

It was midnight before Fujitake finally stumpled into the house, knocking over the table. Sakura was peacefully sleeping in the nursery. Nadeshiko sat up in her bed as he made his way into the room. She could smell the alcohol on his body. He was beyond drunk. He was hammared.

Nadeshiko watched as he came over to her side of the bed, falling down to his knees. She could hear him sobbing, crying. Tears pouring down his face.

"Nadeshiko, please" he said.

"Fujitake, what's wrong?" she asked. Her body, her mind and her heart were having a inner war. He brain screamed he was a threat, to run before he hit her again. Her body told her to be calm, but to be prepared incase something happens. Her heart screamed at her to console him, that she loved him, he was the father of her daughter.

"I'm so sorry, god, i'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I wasn't thinking. I was over come with emotion. Please" he cried to her.

She was in a lost for words once again.

"Please, please, can you ever forgive me?" he asked her.

Time seemed to slow down, her heartbeat sped up. Could she? Could she really ever forgive him for everything he had ever done to her? It was only once, a lasp of judgement. He had never showed her anything other than love. Treated her like a princess when they first met.

"Yes," she said. He looked up at her, tears still in his eyes, "I forgive you Fujitake" she said. He jumped up and hugged her. As he hugged her tightly, she couldn't help but feel, this nightmare had only just begun.

So...I know, you all might hate me, but this isn't really for anyone but for me. Send me all the flames you want. I know its dark, its brutal, and it's only going to get worse from here before it even remotely gets better. As I said before, most of this is a true story.

Also, I am changing a few things. For one, even tho this is a true story, it takes a lot out of me to write this, so the fact that I have not one, but two little brothers, I can't bare to write them into it. So i'm making this the story of an only child.

I am sticking to the original charchter timeline in which Nadeshiko does eventually die. So Sakura will be an only child and Nadeshiko will die. I will try not to be so gruesome, there will be some happy times, but this is a pretty bad horrible story.

Also, for some reason spell check has decided that I'm such a horrible speller that it pretty much died on me. So if I have, oh say about 1000 mispelled words, then my bad. Also, no spell check wants to work on this horrible computer so, again please don't hate me lol.

Well, leave me lots of reviews or maybe messages I don't care any feed back would be nice.

Much love, Aida


	4. authors note

I am sorry to say that right now i can not write anymore chapters for this story. I'm terribly sorry but I had run out of steam with this one considering how close it is to my heart. I just have to say that I'm sorry for any of you that have become fans of this story. i figure i'd leave it up anyways because when i am mentally stable i'll continue it.

thanks all of you who did read.


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